The Buddha’s LaughForeign Desk · Letters to the Abbot from the Laughing Buddha
Morning WireMonday, November 2, 2026
True Satire
Desk

The Middle East Desk

Coalitions, cousins, contracts and the occasional audit, from Ankara to Muscat. Every palace and parliament gets the same treatment.

Monday, November 2, 2026

Cartoon: In a plain government office, a caricature of Qasim Al Abudi proudly locks a neatly framed blank certificate inside an enormous steel strongbox that is otherwise completely empty, while a wall calendar behind him has its pages pinned far into the future.
Baghdad

Under State Control

Iraq’s national security adviser, Qasim Al Abudi, told The National that Baghdad would stay “detached and neutral” if the US-Iran war resumes, and that disarming the armed factions had been “shaped into a clear national framework within just a few months.” The deadline for the weapons, once September 30, is now June 30, 2027. So far the only thing under state control is the framework.

Cartoon: An electrician on a tall ladder calmly snips the single wire running into a grand domed parliament building, while next door a clerk at a tax office window keeps stamping a towering pile of blank bills by candlelight.
Beirut

Disconnected for Arrears

Lebanon’s state power company, Electricite du Liban, was due on Monday to cut electricity to Parliament, the Government Palace and several Internal Security Forces buildings over unpaid bills, MTV reported, after its warnings went unheeded. Also on the list is the Finance Ministry’s VAT building. The office that makes the country pay has been disconnected for not paying.

Sunday, November 1, 2026

Cartoon: In a parliament corridor, a huddle of generic opposition leaders studies a long blank petition with an abacus, every bead slid to one side, while just behind them, unnoticed, a full row of occupied seats waits with pens raised.
Jerusalem

Thirteen Votes Short of Not Needing Them

Israel’s anti-Netanyahu bloc is weighing direct elections for prime minister, Hebrew media report, so it could form a minority government “without relying on the support of Arab parties.” Amending the law requires at least 61 votes in the 120-seat Knesset. The bloc’s Zionist parties hold 48 seats. Not needing the Arab parties begins with finding 13 votes, and the bloc knows where 19 are sitting.

Cartoon: At a conference lectern, a caricature of Badr Abdelatty points to a road sign with a blank face, while behind him a long weary queue of generic delegates follows a winding painted line across the ballroom floor that loops back to where it started.
Manama

Lead Nowhere, Round Two

Egypt’s foreign minister, Badr Abdelatty, told the IISS Manama Dialogue in Bahrain that the region must move “from the logic of crisis management to the logic of building an order.” A second round of the war between Washington and Tehran, he warned, “will lead nowhere.” The first round, under way since late February, has yet to arrive.

Cartoon: At a desk, a caricature of Mohsen Rezaei holds a folded letter up to a lamp and examines it through a jeweller's loupe, the written side carefully turned away from him, while an aide holds an empty reply envelope and waits.
Tehran

Read for Tone

Iran’s security chief, Mohsen Rezaei, says he has studied a letter from US Vice President JD Vance and not yet answered it. “Their tone has completely changed, and this is a good sign,” he said, declining to give details because Washington has not published the contents. Tehran will discuss the tone but not the text, and the peace process now runs on handwriting analysis.

Saturday, October 31, 2026

Cartoon: In a hotel corridor, two delegations stand at opposite ends each gesturing politely for the other to walk first toward a fully laid conference room, while a beaming generic mediator holds its door open and porters quietly wheel a second, unused negotiating table out the back on a trolley.
Doha

The Venue Moves First

Qatar’s mediators held more than 12 hours of talks with Iranian officials in Tehran on Friday, ANI reports, and a draft framework reportedly moves any direct talks between Washington and Tehran to Doha rather than Istanbul. Washington reportedly wants nuclear concessions before talks resume; Tehran wants the naval blockade lifted first. Neither side has agreed to move first, though Istanbul has already been moved.

Friday, October 30, 2026

Cartoon: A caricature of Isaac Herzog in a ceremonial sash stands at a large locked door holding its only key, while caricatures of Benjamin Netanyahu and Gadi Eisenkot wait on either side, each beside a row of blank chairs that falls visibly short of the door.
Jerusalem

Ceremonial, With Discretion

Israel’s president, Isaac Herzog, holds an office Kuwait Times calls “largely ceremonial”, yet he alone picks who first tries to form a government. With about 86% counted, Benjamin Netanyahu’s bloc had 53 of 120 seats and Gadi Eisenkot’s 48. Herzog says not even the president of the United States can intervene in his discretion. The election produced no majority, except in the one office nobody stood for.

Cartoon: In a long parliament corridor a clerk pushes a trolley carrying one blank folder toward a closed committee-room door, while a live chicken strolls past him and reaches the door first.
Tehran

Two Months to Committee

Iran’s parliament has an impeachment motion against the agriculture minister, citing “rising food prices” and “poor management of poultry prices”, that was filed two months ago and has “yet to reach the relevant committee,” Iran International reports. On Sunday a deputy chairman of its Article 90 Commission, Hosseinali Haji Deligani, urged colleagues to move it. The charge is mismanagement, and the motion has spent two months demonstrating it.

Thursday, October 29, 2026

Cartoon: A judge in an Ankara courtroom ceremonially hands an old party chairman the keys to a grand party headquarters, while through the window behind them a long line of deputies carries the desks, chairs and filing cabinets across the street into a new building.
Ankara

Absolute Nullity

Turkey’s New Party is taking to the European rights court the ruling that removed Özgür Özel as CHP chairman, Turkish Minute reports. An Ankara court declared his election congress an “absolute nullity” and reinstated Kemal Kılıçdaroğlu; Özel calls it political interference. Özel and 90 deputies then left, taking 91 seats and leaving the CHP 44. The court ruled the congress void, and the party it handed back has been heading the same way since.

Cartoon: In a glass office tower boardroom, a generic official in a business suit unrolls a scroll of building plans so long it runs out the door and across the sand, while an accountant beside him snips the scroll's far end in half with large scissors; no flags, no headdress, no writing or numbers.
Riyadh

A Priority for Forty Years

Saudi Arabia’s giga project contract awards fell from $31.7 billion in 2023 to $26.7 billion in 2024 and $13.6 billion in 2025, MEED figures reported by Skift show, and stand at $10.6 billion so far this year. The government says the programme will remain a priority for the next 30 to 40 years. Priorities in Riyadh are set by the decade and funded, lately, by the half.

Wednesday, October 28, 2026

Cartoon: A cabinet of officials in suits sits contentedly around a table on which a removal van's worth of packed boxes waits unopened, while a calendar on the wall has had its pages pinned firmly shut.
Jerusalem

Caretaker Until Further Notice

With 76% of Israel’s votes counted, Benjamin Netanyahu’s bloc was on track for 54 seats, seven short of a majority, Al Jazeera reports. Official results are due on 4 November; President Isaac Herzog then nominates a prime minister, who has up to 42 days to form a government. Netanyahu’s cabinet stays on as caretaker meanwhile. The one government certain to be in office in mid-December is the one that just failed to win a majority.

Cartoon: Two officials in suits on a stage each raise a trophy toward the same small section of a large audience, both with their backs turned to the rest of the hall.
Jerusalem

Majorities of a Part

Benjamin Netanyahu and Gadi Eisenkot have each vowed to form Israel’s next coalition, The Times of Israel reports, though exit polls left both short of the 61 seats needed. Netanyahu claimed a “clear, decisive majority among the Zionist public.” Eisenkot replied that Netanyahu faces “a larger and stronger Zionist, responsible majority.” Each man has now won a majority of the same part of the electorate; the Knesset, inconveniently, seats all of it.

Tuesday, October 27, 2026

Cartoon: A general in a plain suit salutes smartly toward an empty chair across a long table, while an aide beside him carefully turns a blank map face down.
Cairo

Defending Against No One

Egypt’s parliament has authorised President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi to give Saudi Arabia military support, should Riyadh request it, Al Jazeera reports. El-Sisi says any action would be limited to protecting Saudi territory, not attacking Yemen. Former diplomat Hussein Haridy called the mission “purely defensive in the sense it’s not directed at any party in the region.” The army will defend Saudi Arabia from an enemy nobody will name, based in a country it has promised not to attack.

Cartoon: In a television studio a presenter in a suit unrolls a long blank scroll across the floor and out of the door, while three rival presenters next door hold up short blank cards.
Jerusalem

Ten Seats Away

Israel’s three mainstream television channels gave the current coalition parties 50 seats in their exit polls, according to The Times of Israel. The staunchly pro-government Channel 14 gave Benjamin Netanyahu’s bloc 60, one short of a majority and, in the paper’s words, “a whopping 10 seats” ahead of the rest. The prime minister is a single seat from governing, provided the Knesset sits in Channel 14’s studio.

Monday, October 26, 2026

Cartoon: A ministry official in a suit patches a hole in an oil barrel with a piece cut from the same barrel's side, opening a new hole of the same size, while colleagues at a committee table behind him applaud politely.
Baghdad

Covered by the Surplus

Iraq’s draft 2027 budget, the largest in its history at about 217.2 trillion dinars, assumes oil at $58 a barrel and exports of about 4 million barrels a day, The National reports. October exports are running near 3.4 million. The draft says its 43 trillion dinar deficit will be covered by oil price or export surpluses. The shortfall, in other words, is to be paid out of the money whose absence caused it.

Cartoon: Three identical television weathermen stand side by side before three identical blank maps, each pointing at the same small grey cloud hanging over an empty parliament chamber, while a caricatured Benjamin Netanyahu peers at the cloud through a brass telescope from the doorway.
Jerusalem

Fifty, Fifty, Fifty

Israel votes on Tuesday, and the three final polls, from Channel 12, Channel 13 and Kan, agree that neither Benjamin Netanyahu’s coalition nor the so-called change bloc reaches the 61 seats needed to govern. Polls may not be published from Saturday onward. The coalition scored 50 seats in all three, a consistency it rarely managed in office.

Cartoon: A caricatured Prince Khalid bin Salman in a dark suit arrives at a round conference table holding an olive branch in one hand and, in the other, a large umbrella already open indoors, while three generic delegates around the table eye the umbrella.
Tehran

Sent the Contingency

Saudi Arabia’s defence minister, Prince Khalid bin Salman, is leading a delegation of Makkah pact countries to Tehran to “ease regional tensions”, a Saudi official told Al Arabiya. Iran says the meeting with Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Turkey could strengthen regional security ties. The Houthis, meanwhile, said they had attacked Saudi oil pumping stations. Easing tensions has been entrusted to the one minister whose office exists in case they do not ease.

Sunday, October 25, 2026

Cartoon: Turkish deputies in a committee room squint at a thick bound agreement through magnifying glasses, while in a second room across the hall a row of empty chairs faces an identical document already stamped.
Ankara

Ten Years, No Exit

Turkey has asked its parliament to ratify the Mecca Joint Defense Agreement with Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, under which an attack on one is an attack on all three. A clause AP calls a surprise bars any party from leaving for 10 years, and then requires three months’ notice. Pakistan has not sought parliamentary endorsement. Turkish deputies get a vote on the ten years; Pakistan’s will learn of them by serving them.

Cartoon: In a vast ministry hall, clerks wheel trolleys stacked with pay envelopes past a single worker laying one small brick on an empty building plot, an office clock on the wall behind them.
Baghdad

Before Lunch

Iraq ran a deficit of $20.02 billion between January and August, according to Finance Ministry data reported by Shafaq News, on spending of $49.86 billion. Employee compensation took $26.97 billion. Capital expenditure, the money that builds things, came to $19.8 million. Eight months of building would cover the state payroll for about four hours.

Saturday, October 24, 2026

Cartoon: In a long cabinet room, a caricatured Ali al-Zaidi beams at a row of nine empty chairs with blank name cards while workmen carry in a tenth, gleaming chair fitted with a computer screen and blinking lights.
Baghdad

The Tenth Vacancy

Iraq’s political blocs are discussing a new ministry for artificial intelligence, a former lawmaker tells Shafaq News, though a government source calls it “not an approved government project.” Nine of Prime Minister Ali al-Zaidi’s 23 ministries are still run by acting officials five months into his premiership. The government is short of nine ministers and proposes to solve it with a tenth.

Cartoon: A caricatured Benjamin Netanyahu in a suit stands at a lectern and solemnly unveils an enormous open ledger on an easel, its pages blank, while a crowd of generic bankers in the gallery all lean forward with opera glasses to read it.
Jerusalem

A Ledger for Hiding

Benjamin Netanyahu, Israel’s prime minister, wants the country to prepare its economy and banks for harsh global sanctions. Banking sanctions, he said, would require an alternate economy able to get around them, with blockchain among the options, and he has asked for a plan. For slipping quietly past the world’s bankers, he has chosen a ledger built so that the whole world can read it.

Friday, October 23, 2026

Cartoon: In a minister's office, a caricatured Mehmet Simsek waves away a packed suitcase and points sternly at a huge wall calendar on which every square is crammed with scribbles except one entire row, left perfectly blank.
Ankara

The Intense Calendar

Turkey’s finance minister Mehmet Şimşek skipped the IMF and World Bank annual meetings in Bangkok, telling Bloomberg he was needed for an intense budget calendar. The 2027 budget reached parliament on 16 October. Its committee debate was set to open on 21 October with a presentation, then give members a week to prepare. The intense calendar’s first entry, after the speech, is a blank week.

Cartoon: In a parliament chamber, rows of suited lawmakers raise a forest of hands toward a smiling nominee holding a closed briefcase, while a caricatured president at the side stares in surprise at all the agreement, and three lawmakers in a corner keep their arms firmly folded.
Tehran

Common Ground, Found

Iran’s conservative-dominated parliament voted 237 to 15 on 18 October to confirm Mehrdad Akhlaqi as defence minister, Amwaj reports. He was nominated by President Masoud Pezeshkian, a Reformist, and is a veteran of missile production. A Reformist president has at last found the bridge to a conservative parliament, and it runs through a missile factory.

Thursday, October 22, 2026

Cartoon: In a parliament chamber, a small party leader holds up a large blank sign urging silence to his row of members, who sit politely with their hands already raised high in favour behind his back.
Cairo

Abstaining, Mostly in Favour

Egypt’s House of Representatives has adjourned its vote on authorising military support for Saudi Arabia to 26 October, Al Jazeera reports. The Egyptian Social Democratic Party told its lawmakers to abstain, citing too little information on the mission. Two of its MPs told AFP most of its members back the measure. The party is abstaining for lack of information; most of its members have enough to vote yes.

Cartoon: A caricatured Benjamin Netanyahu shadowboxes energetically in an empty campaign hall against a row of empty chairs, while the people who were meant to sit in them wave politely from outside the window, coats on, already leaving.
Jerusalem

Turned Down in Advance

Israel’s prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, has told Israel National News next week’s election is a choice between “me and Trump, or Eisenkot and Abbas,” the second being a government of “the left” and Arab parties. Most mainstream anti-Netanyahu parties, Gadi Eisenkot’s included, have ruled out relying on Arab factions, The Times of Israel notes. He is campaigning against the only coalition in the race that its own members have already turned down.

Wednesday, October 21, 2026

Cartoon: A caricatured Benny Gantz walks out of a hall carrying his coat over his arm, while behind him a tall stack of blank ballot papers stands on a table wearing a small rosette and cheerfully waving at the door.
Tel Aviv

Nobody Told the Ballot

Benny Gantz has pulled Blue and White out of Israel’s 27 October election eight days before the vote, with his party polling far short of the Knesset threshold. “The responsibility is mine,” he said. The withdrawal came too late to take the party off the ballot. Nobody could tell the ballot paper in time, so it will go on campaigning without him.

Tuesday, October 20, 2026

Cartoon: On a building site, a gleaming new power station stands finished beside a tiny scaffolded structure shaped like a question mark, where a crowd of officials in suits argues over the blueprints while the cranes wait idle.
Beirut

Under Construction Since 1990

Qatar has proposed two 825-megawatt gas plants for Lebanon within three years, Reuters reports. The state power company supplies a few hours of electricity a day, and earlier reform plans “repeatedly stalled due to political bickering.” The three years apply if approvals come quickly. Engineers can raise a power station in three years. The “if” has been under construction in Beirut since 1990.

Cartoon: A caricatured Itamar Ben Gvir stands outside a closed meeting-room door, ear pressed to it, while a postman walks past him carrying a sealed envelope addressed to a distant row of glass office towers on the horizon.
Jerusalem

Early, Abroad, Without Him

Israel’s national security minister, Itamar Ben Gvir, says the Prime Minister’s Office “has committed to countries in the European Union” to keep his Otzma Yehudit party out of the next government. “I was in shock,” he said. Likud called it “false political spin”. In Ben Gvir’s telling, coalition talks have already begun: early, abroad and without him.

Monday, October 19, 2026

Cartoon: In a palace office, a caricatured adviser uses tweezers to peel a single page of a wall calendar back by one sheet, while behind him a large empty armchair waits with a freshly plumped cushion.
Ankara

Early Enough

Turkey’s elections are due in May 2028, and Mehmet Uçum, chief adviser to President Erdoğan, says it is “now largely clear” they could be in March or April. Under the constitution, a second-term president may run again only if parliament calls an early election, with 360 of 600 votes; his alliance holds 331. Early, in this case, is measured not in weeks but in terms.

Cartoon: In an empty polling station, a caricatured Donald Trump sits at the counting table with his feet up beside a ballot box holding a single folded paper, while a clerk stands holding a tall stack of blank ballots and looks at the wall clock.
Jerusalem

Anyone Other Than

Donald Trump has given Benjamin Netanyahu his “complete and total endorsement” for Israel’s 27 October election, three days after saying he had not “even thought about” backing anyone. The wrong leader, he wrote, “would be anyone other than Bibi.” Gadi Eisenkot said he had requested “that there be no intervention in Israel’s internal election.” Nine days before polling, the count in Washington is complete.

Cartoon: A caricatured parliament speaker sits at a brand-new regulator's desk with a blank nameplate and an empty in-tray, while a thick undersea cable snakes in through the window and coils on the blotter like the first file.
Tehran

The Authority Is Coming

Iran’s parliament speaker, Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf, announced on X that “The Persian Gulf Data Authority is coming,” without saying how it would operate. A week earlier Mohsen Rezaei, secretary of the security council, said undersea cables and data centres could be targeted. Most regulators open with a consultation paper. This one has opened with the cables.

Sunday, October 18, 2026

Cartoon: Erdogan, drawn as a caricature, gives a calm thumbs up at a podium while behind him an official staples blank fine notices onto two television sets.
Ankara

Under Control

Turkey’s President Erdogan declared the investment fund crisis under control on Friday, as the markets regulator sought prosecution of 37 people, one a former ruling-party lawmaker. The same day the broadcast regulator RTÜK fined Sözcü TV and Koza TV over broadcasts questioning government figures’ links to the scandal. Under control, in the sense that the questions are now being fined.

Cartoon: Sisi, drawn as a caricature, stands at a lectern as a row of identical members of parliament in the gallery behind him already hold up their hands, one of them yawning and setting an alarm clock for the morning.
Cairo

A Full Night to Decide

Egypt’s President Abdel Fattah El Sisi asked parliament on Saturday for an emergency session to authorise Egypt to defend Saudi Arabia, should the kingdom ask. “I am not speaking about attacking or waging war,” he said. The House of Representatives announced it would meet on Sunday. The chamber has been given a full night to make up its mind.

Cartoon: At a cabinet table, a minister slides a sealed blank envelope across to a defence official while clerks carry trimmed slices off a row of ministry cakes, leaving one large cake under a locked glass dome untouched in the middle.
Jerusalem

Classified Shopping

Israel’s government, nine days from polling day, took up a 4.9 percent cut to ministry budgets, NIS 2.6 billion, for what the proposal calls “classified procurement to equip the Defense Ministry.” Education, health, welfare and transportation share the cut; coalition funds are left untouched. The shopping list is a state secret. The coalition funds were protected as if they were on it.

Saturday, October 17, 2026

Cartoon: Erdogan, drawn as a caricature, hands a large ceremonial cheque to a queue of savers, while behind him a clerk turns an empty safe upside down and shakes it.
Ankara

Payable by the Payer

Turkey’s President Erdogan has promised investors in 131 liquidated funds interim payments of up to 1 million lira each, with “a substantial proportion” paid in October once parliament passes the bill. Under the bill, the money comes from fund assets and recovered cash, not the Treasury. It is a presidential promise, payable by the funds that could not pay.

Cartoon: At a small airport fire station, two firefighters stand proudly beside a toy-sized fire engine while an enormous wide-bodied airliner taxis past, its wing shading the entire station.
Beirut

Sized for Short Trips

A UN aviation agency report, described by Reuters, finds that Lebanon’s Beirut airport lacks valid certification and has no emergency plan. Its firefighting covers single-aisle aircraft, not the twin-aisle jets used on long-haul routes. The transport minister says certification work begins on Saturday. Washington has just allowed direct flights to America, the one trip the fire engines are not sized for.

Cartoon: In a quiet government office, a referee in a striped shirt stands beside an empty ballot box and keeps holding up a blank board for added time, while four foreign envoys in suits wait on a bench with their arms folded.
Ramallah

Extra Time

Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas has postponed the legislative elections promised for 2026 and the presidential vote promised for 2027, commitments made in a letter to Emmanuel Macron. France, the UK, Australia and Canada asked him on 13 October to reverse the decision. He was elected in 2005 for a term ending in 2009, and is now in his seventeenth year of extra time.

Friday, October 16, 2026

Cartoon: In an Iraqi parliament, a long table of new ministers is finally fully seated after cobwebs have grown on the chairs, except one empty chair labelled with a suitcase, still waiting.
Baghdad

Accelerated, After Five Months

Iraq’s parliament approved 11 posts late on 15 October, completing Prime Minister Ali Al Zaidi’s government five months after he took office. The new interior minister is Nouri Al Maliki’s son-in-law, and one of three deputy prime ministers, Laith Al Khazali, is under US sanctions. The vote on a minister for migration and displacement was postponed for want of agreement. Al Zaidi promised “accelerated, diligent work.” The ministry for people on the move has not moved.

Cartoon: A game of musical chairs in an election hall: Israeli party leaders politely ask smaller politicians to give up their seats so the chairs will be fewer, while one leader sits perched on the very edge of his own wobbling chair.
Jerusalem

Fewer of Us, Please

In Israel, Prime Minister Netanyahu’s Likud and its allies are pressing smaller right-wing parties to quit the 27 October election, fearing votes lost below the 3.25 percent threshold. A candidate on Ofer Winter’s slate withdrew on 13 October, and a newly formed party is reportedly under pressure too; it replied that “there is no point in pressuring” it. Among those showing others the exit is Bezalel Smotrich, whose own party is standing in it.

Cartoon: A Saudi events official stands on an empty golf course in the desert holding a giant postponement notice, a single golf ball resting on the tee, with a tennis racket and net folded up beside him.
Riyadh

Logistical Challenges

Saudi Arabia’s Saudi International, the Asian Tour’s season finale, due in Riyadh from 18 to 21 November, has been postponed with no new date; the organisers cited “logistical challenges.” A day earlier, the Six Kings Slam tennis exhibition was moved to December. Two fixtures, one excuse. The excuse, at least, was ready on time.

Thursday, October 15, 2026

Cartoon: In an Iraqi government office, a row of empty ministers' chairs sits covered in dust, while four eager deputy prime ministers with torches and magnifying glasses search under the desks for the missing ministers.
Baghdad

Four Deputies, No Ministers

Five months after Iraq’s government was approved, nine ministries, interior and defence among them, are still empty. On 15 October parliament was due to vote on filling them and on four new deputy prime minister posts, a rank abolished in 2018. The prime minister says the new posts carry no salaries; a rival coalition calls that “an attempt to mislead the public.” Iraq cannot find a defence minister, but has found four deputies to help look.

Cartoon: Dubai transport planners stand on a road, drawing a whole underground city of tunnels with chalk on a giant blackboard laid flat on the ground, while cars stream around them.
Dubai

The Third Dimension

Dubai’s transport chief has unveiled plans for an integrated underground network to move people, goods and services, which a team at the roads authority is now examining. “The Dubai of the future will be a city that moves in three dimensions,” he said. The city already logs more than 11 million road journeys a day. For the moment, the third dimension is a study.

Cartoon: An Israeli politician stands at a blackboard doing coalition arithmetic, erasing every party one by one, and then proudly circling the remaining empty space as a majority.
Jerusalem

Subtract, Then Announce

Avigdor Liberman’s Yisrael Beytenu promises a coalition of “Zionist parties only,” rules out a minority government, and will not sit with Netanyahu “even if the world turns upside down,” though Likud without him could be a partner. Polls show neither bloc near 61 of the Knesset’s 120 seats before the 27 October election. He predicts a solid majority anyway. Coalition arithmetic in Israel: subtract everyone, then announce the total.

Cartoon: Saudi officials hold a merger ceremony, gluing two office nameplates together into one and sweeping two loose words onto a dustpan with pride.
Riyadh

Two Words Saved

Saudi Arabia’s cabinet has merged the kingdom’s foreign trade authority with the Saudi Export Development Authority, to form the General Authority for Foreign Trade and Export. Anything needing regulatory changes must be submitted within 180 days. Two authorities became one, and the first efficiencies were the words “Saudi” and “Development.”

Wednesday, October 14, 2026

Cartoon: Egyptian archaeologists unpack a colossal stone pharaoh head from a delivery crate, while a delivery man holds out a form for signature and points to a second crate marked with a question mark where the legs should be.
Gharbia

In Instalments

A dig in Egypt’s Gharbia has found pieces of two colossal statues of Ramses II, one head 1.60 metres tall, the second statue still missing its legs. The pharaoh is arriving in instalments.

Cartoon: Israeli ministers vote by holding up their mobile phones in a hurried conference call, while in the next room two officials argue across a desk and a clock above them shows a missed deadline, a helicopter salesman tapping his watch.
Jerusalem

Urgent by Telephone

Israel’s ministers approved, by telephone vote, nearly NIS 1 billion for an “urgent classified procurement” of 12 Apache helicopters, taken from the five-year investment plan for the country’s Arab community. Reports say the defence and finance ministries argued long enough to miss Boeing’s deadline, so delivery may slip by years. The purchase was urgent enough to fund by phone and not urgent enough to sign on time.

Cartoon: An Israeli politician at a podium flips a large placard from one side to the other, both sides blank, while a journalist in the audience scratches his head.
Jerusalem

Fake News, Revised

Israel’s prime minister, who had called it fake news, now confirms that Egypt’s then intelligence chief visited Israel before 7 October 2023, but says they did not meet: “He didn’t meet with me because I was attending a memorial ceremony for fallen IDF soldiers.” He added: “Since when does an intelligence chief speak with a head of state?” The story went from false to true but irrelevant in one interview, which in an election month counts as a ceasefire.

Cartoon: At an enormous book fair in Sharjah, thousands of publishers and events fill every corner, while a single reader sits in a tiny corner trying to read a book, constantly interrupted.
Sharjah

Made of Stories

The Sharjah Book Fair expects 2,673 publishers and exhibitors from 124 countries and 1,500 events in twelve days. No hour appears to have been set aside for reading.

Tuesday, October 13, 2026

Cartoon: In Egypt, a vast hall of thirteen doors, each with a ticket barrier, and a citizen holding exactly two small tickets standing at the entrance, while a giant screen behind him shows a counter spinning with view numbers.
Cairo

Two Sessions Each

The website for Egypt’s national forum has passed 12 million views. Citizens may attend up to two of its 13 sessions, and the government promises an exchange of views. The exchange rate has been fixed at two sessions.

Cartoon: At a glamorous film award ceremony in Dubai, a robot director accepts a golden trophy on stage, while the audience of humans in the front rows are all slightly blurry and pixelated.
Dubai

Seventy Percent Machine

A $1 million award for AI-made films is open for entries. At least 70 percent of each film must be generated by AI, and one of the themes is fake news and misinformation. A strong field is expected, much of it convincingly real.

Cartoon: At an Omani desert border crossing, a customs officer in uniform cheerfully lifts the barrier and hands out shopping bags to drivers, under a sign showing a shopping cart.
Muscat

Customs, Waived by Customs

Oman will open duty-free markets at three land crossings, two on the border with the UAE and one with Saudi Arabia, under a decision signed by the inspector general of police and customs. The stated aims are economic diversification, investment and tourism. The head of customs has diversified the economy by announcing where customs will not apply.

Cartoon: On a Riyadh metro platform, a shiny new train for one line has plenty of space, while on the next platform a crammed carriage of commuters squeeze even closer together as an official politely gestures for patience.
Riyadh

Purple Line, Be Patient

Riyadh is buying 94 metro trains for nearly 5.5 billion riyals. Capacity on the Red Line will rise 142 percent; on the Purple Line, 16. The Purple Line has been asked to be patient, and to stand a little closer together.

Monday, October 12, 2026

Cartoon: In a Syrian classroom, a ministry official with a measuring spoon carefully hands out a tiny portion of alphabet letters to students holding big empty bowls, while a framed decree on the wall promises plenty.
Damascus

A Language, Rationed

Syria’s president decreed in January that Kurdish is a national language and may be taught in schools in Kurdish-populated areas. Students and teachers in Hasakah, Qamishli and Kobani are now protesting an Education Ministry decision limiting that teaching. Raising decentralisation in Syria, a Kurdish member of parliament says, is “like we’re talking about the devil.” Damascus has granted a right and assigned a ministry to ration it.

Cartoon: At a grand Egyptian signing ceremony, officials shake hands over a large contract while an empty chair labelled for the price sits at the end of the table with only a coat on it.
New Administrative Capital

Price on Request

Egypt’s Prime Minister Mostafa Madbouly attended the signing of a deal handing 415 feddans of long-stalled land in 6th of October City, the old Dreamland site, to Hyde Park Developments, from a company owned by two state banks. The housing minister said it “resolves a longstanding issue.” No price, investment figure, unit count or timeline was disclosed. The prime minister came to witness a sale. The price stayed home.

Sunday, October 11, 2026

Cartoon: At Beirut airport, Lebanese officials proudly frame and hang a permission certificate on the wall of an empty departure gate, while passengers with suitcases wait looking out at a runway with no airplane.
Beirut

Cleared for a Flight

President Trump has revoked four US determinations, from 1985 to 2007, restricting flights between the United States and Lebanon. President Joseph Aoun called it “a sign of confidence in the measures taken by the Lebanese state to guarantee the security of civil aviation.” Direct commercial flights will not resume immediately. After 41 years, Lebanon has permission for a flight it does not have.

Cartoon: In a government office, a nervous chief of staff tries to turn back the hands of a large wall clock with a long pole, while a calm stenographer at her desk sits with arms folded firmly in front of the logbook.
Jerusalem

Change the Time

Israel’s Channel 12 has aired what it says is a transcript of the prime minister’s chief of staff, Tzachi Braverman, asking a stenographer in January 2024 to move a logged call with Netanyahu on 7 October from 6:40 to 6:29. “Tzachi, I’m prohibited from changing it,” the stenographer replied, the report says. Braverman has not been charged in this matter and says he never claimed a 6:29 call. The only unbending thing in the building was the stenographer.

Cartoon: An Iranian official slams a door shut on an American envoy, then immediately opens it a crack to slip out a long list of follow-up questions.
Tehran

Conversation Over, Please Clarify

Mohsen Rezaei, Iran’s top security official, calls the US reply to Tehran’s seven conditions for reopening the Strait of Hormuz “insufficient,” and announces: “We are no longer in the process of responding to the Americans.” In the next breath: “They must clarify the issues that remain ambiguous to us.” The talks are over, and Washington’s homework is now overdue.

Saturday, October 10, 2026

Cartoon: At an Iraqi government payroll office, a long line of former militia members in plain clothes queue to receive identical government salary envelopes and new state uniforms, while a clerk stamps each form and a calendar on the wall has its deadline page torn off and moved further back.
Baghdad

Dissolved Into the Payroll

Iraq’s Moqtada al-Sadr dissolved his Saraya al-Salam and Promised Day Brigade on 30 September, the day US troops left; the fighters are expected to join the state’s security forces. The disarmament deadline for every other armed group has slipped to next June. Folding fighters into government institutions, says a Chatham House analyst, “does not necessarily resolve questions over their loyalties.” In Iraq a militia is never abolished. It is put on salary.

Cartoon: In a Turkish city hall corridor, an opposition mayor stands before two doors: one leads to a waiting courtroom with a lawyer holding a briefcase, the other opens onto a cheerful ruling-party welcome party with a cake.
Istanbul

Custody or Conversion

Forty mayors from Turkey’s main opposition CHP have been arrested since the March 2024 local elections, by one channel’s count, some since released; on 6 October courts ordered four more held pending trial, including Mersin’s. The next day the CHP mayor of İzmir joined the ruling AKP. The government says the courts are independent. An opposition mayor in Turkey now has two career paths, and only one requires a lawyer.

Friday, October 9, 2026

Cartoon: In the Turkish parliament, ruling-party deputies firmly hold a large telescope pointed at the floor and refuse to look through it, gesturing toward a prosecutor across the street who is already peering out of his own window with binoculars, while a pile of investment fund folders sits behind them.
Ankara

Someone Else Is Looking

Turkey’s ruling AKP and its MHP ally voted down all five opposition requests for a parliamentary inquiry into the 131 investment funds ordered liquidated in September, affecting 455,758 investors. Investigations were already under way, an AKP deputy chair argued. Prosecutors’ findings, reported the same day, say 214 investors who sold in time gained about $3.8 billion; their names have not been disclosed. Parliament declined to look, because someone else was looking.

Cartoon: In the Gulf desert, officials proudly unveil four enormous price tags on easels, each taller than the tiny unfinished building beside it, while a lone camel looks on unimpressed.
Riyadh

Ranked by the Unspent

Four of the world’s ten megaprojects costing $100 billion or more are in the Gulf, The National reports from a Statista ranking: Neom and King Abdullah Economic City in Saudi Arabia, Kuwait’s Silk City and the GCC railway. The figures are estimated costs, not money spent. Neom was announced in 2017 at $500 billion. In the Gulf a project’s size is measured by what it will cost, and its progress by what it might.