The Buddha’s LaughForeign Desk · Letters to the Abbot from the Laughing Buddha
Morning WireMonday, November 2, 2026
True Satire
Desk

The Technology Desk

Chips, platforms, AI rules and the machines that promise to save time. The monk is still waiting for his.

Monday, November 2, 2026

Cartoon: In a government office, a row of officials proudly holds up shiny new identity cards to one another, while through the window a vast, patient crowd holds up old paper cards.
Colombo

Officials First

Sri Lanka’s digital identity system begins as an in-house pilot in December at the latest, “initially targeting government employees,” an official told Biometric Update, after bids exceeded India’s INR 3 billion grant. Some 17 million card holders follow. The first Sri Lankans to receive a working digital identity will be the officials who have been promising one.

Cartoon: A long line of people holding up blank identity cards stands before a booth, inside which an official sits with his hands tied by red tape, gazing helplessly at a judge's gavel resting on the counter.
Islamabad

Not Allowed to Ask

Pakistan’s minister for IT and telecom said on Wednesday that social media bans for children could backfire and urged stronger age checks, Arab News reports. This month the telecom regulator told a court it lacks the legal power to impose mandatory age verification. The plan, then, is for everyone to prove their age to a regulator that has told the judges it may not ask.

Cartoon: A cheerful official cuts a ribbon on a giant computer screen showing a shop, a house and a water tap, while beside it a stork waits patiently outside a locked door marked only by a blank sign.
Patna

Not Yet Born

Bihar’s chief minister, Samrat Choudhary, launched the UPYOG portal on 31 October for 264 urban local bodies, Elets eGov reports. Ten of its 19 planned modules are live, including trade licences, building plans and water connections; birth registration comes later. For now, Bihar’s online citizen can open a shop, build a house and connect the water, but cannot yet be born.

Sunday, November 1, 2026

Cartoon: Two teams race across a football pitch while a referee in a starred blazer stands at the touchline holding a whistle in a sealed envelope, checking a long calendar.
Brussels

The Postponed Whistle

The European Union wants to be a “third force” in artificial intelligence between Washington and Beijing, Euronews reports, though it has no frontier AI model of its own. Its AI Omnibus has meanwhile delayed the AI Act’s rules for high-risk systems, after lobbying by European companies. Having no side in the match, the self-appointed referee has now postponed the whistle as well.

Cartoon: Two giant telecom towers lean slowly inward over a crowd of tiny towers huddled between them, while a regulator with an hourglass measures the gap with a ruler.
New Delhi

One Hundredth of a Point

India ended September with 1,107.68 million broadband connections spread across 1,596 operators, MediaNama reports from TRAI data. Jio and Airtel between them held 83.96 percent, up from 83.95 percent in August. Gaining one hundredth of a point monthly, the pair leave the other 1,594 operators safe until roughly the year 2160.

Saturday, October 31, 2026

Cartoon: An inspector in a hard hat climbs a tall mobile tower to examine the antenna with a magnifying glass, while at its foot his colleagues kneel around a sputtering generator and a heap of flat batteries.
Gilgit

Mostly Batteries

The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority inspected 184 more mobile sites between 22 and 28 October, from Gilgit to South Karachi, taking its count past 900, Business Recorder reports. The deficiencies it lists begin with power supply and backup redundancy, then battery and generator faults. Nine hundred towers in, the regulator of the airwaves has become an inspector of batteries.

Cartoon: A reporter drops one folded question after another into a tall, gleaming suggestion box whose open bottom feeds straight into a wastebasket, while beside it a sleek new console sits under a dust cover.
New Delhi

Prompts Pending

Meta announced Your Algorithm on 13 October, a feature that lets users tell its feeds what they want, but MediaNama found it unavailable in India on Facebook, Instagram and Threads. Its questions on when it will arrive, how prompts are stored and whether they train Meta’s AI went unanswered. In India the feature so far takes prompts only from journalists, and ignores those too.

Friday, October 30, 2026

Cartoon: Two identical server cabinets are wheeled into a Jakarta data centre side by side, one labelled with nothing and the other draped with a blank calendar page, as officials nod gravely at the second one.
Jakarta

Half of It Hindsight

Indonesia’s civil registration directorate, Dukcapil, has tendered for 4 petabytes of storage to copy its population and biometric records in real time, Biometric Update reports, a contract the World Bank puts at $16.9 million. Half the capacity is primary storage and half is backup, two years after a ransomware attack on a separate government data centre where 98% of one site’s data reportedly had no copy. Two petabytes are for the data; the other two are for 2024.

Cartoon: A clerk sits behind a towering wall of blank folders at a government counter, tearing off the third page of a wall calendar while a single folder waits unopened in front of him.
New Delhi

Met Three Times Over

India’s Grievance Appellate Committee, which hears appeals against platforms’ moderation decisions under the IT Rules, aims to decide each within 30 days. Its website counts 70,548 appeals received and 16,355 disposed of. SFLC.in puts the average wait at 90 to 100 days. The thirty-day target is being met, three times over, for every appeal.

Thursday, October 29, 2026

Cartoon: A judge in plain black robes inspects two empty picture frames hung side by side at exactly the same height on a bare wall, measuring the gap with a ruler, while a smiling tech executive stands by with an unplugged camera; no flags, banners or writing anywhere.
Brasília

Zero Pictures Each

Brazil’s electoral court gave Meta 24 hours to prove its tools treated runoff candidates Lula and Flávio Bolsonaro equally, with a daily fine of R$1 million if it failed. One complaint was that Meta AI refused images of Lula while accepting requests about Flávio. Meta told the court it now rejects prompts using either candidate’s first name. Equality has been restored, at zero pictures each.

Cartoon: A Commission official in a glass office accepts a thick blank folder from a shopping-platform clerk while a giant receipt for the fine trails out of the door and down the corridor behind them.
Brussels

The Analysis It Owed

The European Commission has accepted Temu’s action plan after fining the platform €200 million in May under its platform law, the DSA, for failing to identify the risks of illegal products sold to its 130 million EU users. Under the plan, Temu commits to carry out a risk analysis. Two hundred million euros has bought Europe the risk analysis the law already required for free.

Cartoon: A government clerk proudly opens a large public vault labelled with nothing, revealing shelves of identical boxes, each one fitted with its own small private padlock.
Seoul

Shared Unless Valuable

South Korea’s revised AI Basic Act will require training data built in government-backed projects to be provided through the national AI Hub. One state project with a 15 billion won data budget required only half of its data disclosed. Operators may still ask to withhold trade secrets. From April, data the public paid for must be shared with the public, unless it is valuable.

Wednesday, October 28, 2026

Cartoon: Around a committee table, every official holds up a smartphone and points firmly at an empty chair at the far end of the table.
Islamabad

Someone Elsewhere

A Pakistani Senate committee has given the authorities a month to review taxes on imported and used phones. A telecoms authority member urged the revenue board to cut the tax; the Cabinet Division secretary said taxation is outside the authority’s jurisdiction; the IT minister said relief is for the Tax Policy Office. The room agreed someone should lower the tax, and that the someone was elsewhere.

Cartoon: An official in a suit sits on a sofa with a remote control, facing a television screen that shows only a blank page, while a stack of crossed-out manuscripts piles up beside him.
New Delhi

Renewed for a Third Draft

India’s broadcasting ministry is weighing a law for streaming content, NDTV reports, by amending the Cinematograph Act of 1952 or the IT Act of 2000, or writing a new one. No public draft exists. Its broadcasting bill was drafted in 2023, redrafted in 2024 and recalled. Five years in, the series has two drafts, one recall and a third season in development.

Cartoon: An official in a suit holds a blank memo up to a giant phone screen with both hands, straining to keep it pinned there while the screen tries to swipe it away.
Patna

Ten Seconds on Screen

India’s Bihar state has told Ola, Uber, Rapido and Savari Mithila to comply with its directions by 30 October or lose their licences, saying earlier directions went unimplemented. The list includes a Hindi chatbot and in-app messages kept on screen for 10 seconds instead of 2. The state wants every message held for ten seconds, a courtesy its own directions have not yet been shown.

Tuesday, October 27, 2026

Cartoon: An official in a suit searches a filing cabinet with a magnifying glass, while behind him a door to a public reading room is roped off with a blank sign hanging from the rope.
Mumbai

Under Maintenance

India’s Central Board of Film Certification says “no trace has been found” of certification files for more than 500 titles that The Hindu reports were posted on the Internet Archive, censor-cut summaries among them. The law requires those summaries to be public; the board kept them behind an “under maintenance” message. Officially, the leaked summaries are now as hard to find as the published ones.

Cartoon: A television set sits in a living room while an official in a suit stands behind it holding a long blank list, whispering into its back panel which channels it is allowed to know.
New Delhi

Told What It Has Heard Of

India’s telecom regulator, TRAI, has recommended that apps streaming TV channels over the internet, such as Samsung TV Plus and YuppTV, need a 20-year government licence. Television makers would need no licence, but should allow only apps listed in a ministry-kept “Master ALTD app repository”. The set itself stays unlicensed; it will simply be told which channels it has heard of.

Monday, October 26, 2026

Cartoon: A man sits on a park bench beside a phone mast with a picnic basket, a thermos and a blanket, waiting from sunrise to sunset while the sun arcs overhead, and his phone shows a small soft glow only at noon.
Islamabad

Fifty-Seven Minutes

The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority says its zonal offices inspected 166 mobile sites from 15 to 22 October and told operators to fix the faults they found. Its own report on second-quarter data put 5G availability at 3.95 percent of users’ connected time; the government expects nationwide coverage in about two years. A phone left online all day gets about 57 minutes of the future.

Cartoon: A ministry courier hands a blank envelope with no return address to a librarian, who starts pulling dusty old notes off a corkboard where three pins already hold nothing at all.
New Delhi

Subject Unknown

Reddit blocked 26 posts in India after a takedown order dated 21 October, most of them about the India-China border. Its public notice lists the sender as redacted, leaves the law field blank and gives the subject as “Unknown”. Several posts were five or six years old. Three had already been deleted by their authors, who were never told which law they were obeying either.

Sunday, October 25, 2026

Cartoon: A minister proudly unveils a tall layered cake on a stand, every tier solid and iced except the top one, which is an empty plate held up by a hopeful hand.
Islamabad

The Last Layer

Pakistan’s IT minister, Shaza Fatima Khawaja, announced Buraq, a government-backed Urdu AI model, at a World Bank summit in Seoul, citing Urdu’s 0.03% share of the web text collected by Common Crawl. She called AI “the last layer, not the first” of digital development. Buraq has no website, demo, release date or parameter count yet. So far it is exactly the layer she promised.

Cartoon: Two large men share a seesaw-shaped scale that barely tilts, while a regulator beside them keeps sliding a finish-line ribbon further down an endless road.
Mumbai

Ten Weeks, Three Years

India’s two largest payment apps, PhonePe and Google Pay, handled 77.8% of UPI transactions in September, down from 78.3% in August, according to NPCI data compiled by MediaNama. Each is still above the 30% market share cap, whose deadline for existing providers is 31 December 2026. At half a point a month, the two reach the cap in about three years. The deadline is in ten weeks.

Saturday, October 24, 2026

Cartoon: A telecom engineer kneels in a sandbox building a sandcastle of radio towers that stretches away to the horizon, while at the edge a clerk taps his wristwatch and holds out a blank renewal form.
New Delhi

Forever, Renewed Yearly

India’s telecom sandbox rules, in force since 21 October, let companies test new services for up to 24 months, extendable twelve months at a time with no limit. Applicants must request each extension at least 30 days before expiry, while the government has no deadline for deciding on a proposal. A trial may now run forever, provided it asks a month early every year.

Friday, October 23, 2026

Cartoon: A radio operator holding a small handheld set stands before a regulator's counter, where an official in a suit hands him a thick blank questionnaire stapled to an even thicker blank questionnaire.
Islamabad

A Form About the Form

The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority has proposed processing licence applications for radio-based services “within 15 working days”, provided the application is complete. Comments on the draft must arrive on a prescribed proforma naming each provision, each proposed change and the reason for it. The fast lane opens with a form about the form.

Cartoon: At a registry counter an applicant signs a long blank declaration under a clerk's stern gaze, while behind the clerk a small robot sits at a back desk stamping papers unnoticed.
Mumbai

Unmarked, at the Mark Office

India’s Trade Marks Registry has published draft guidelines requiring submissions to state “whether or not the submission has been prepared with the assistance of an AI”, and treating silence as “a misrepresentation to the Registry”. Its own officers are asked to keep AI “strictly ancillary”, but penalties apply only to the parties. The office that registers marks has left its own AI use unmarked.

Cartoon: A diplomat in a suit hands out identical neat blueprints to a line of foreign officials, while behind him a colleague kneels on the floor trying to tie a heap of loose string into a single folder.
New Delhi

Copied Abroad, Not Yet at Home

India’s Ministry of External Affairs has told a parliamentary committee that “there is no single, stand-alone policy document” for its digital, AI, cyber and space diplomacy. The committee called the approach “fragmentary, piecemeal and ad hoc.” India has signed agreements with 23 countries to replicate its Digital Public Infrastructure. The strategy for exporting it has not yet been copied into one document.

Thursday, October 22, 2026

Cartoon: A sleek robot news presenter sits at a studio anchor desk while, beside it, a ministry official holds up a tiny blank card and points at a small stool in the corner, which the robot regards doubtfully.
New Delhi

Assistive, Undefined

India’s Information and Broadcasting Ministry has advised TV news channels that “the use of AI tools may be limited to assistive capacity.” It does not define assistive or say whether it covers AI anchors, one of which has already interviewed Narendra Modi. Someone will now have to tell a presenter who has interviewed the Prime Minister that it was only assisting.

Wednesday, October 21, 2026

Cartoon: An official mails an enormous parcel off to the capital from a state post office, then carries a tiny leftover box into a school computer lab and locks it carefully in a cupboard beside one old desktop.
Bengaluru

The Part That Stayed Behind

India’s Karnataka state promised in its 2026-27 budget that social media use “will be banned for children under the age of 16.” No bill followed. Now officials say a ban “comes under the Centre’s domain,” and the state will regulate computers in its schools and colleges. The ban has been posted to New Delhi, and the part that stayed behind fits in a computer lab.

Cartoon: A small suitcase with legs stands at an airport departure gate, dutifully filling in a long blank form at a counter while an official behind the glass stamps a tall stack of identical forms it has already filed.
Nairobi

Write Home Each Time

Kenya’s data protection commissioner has issued guidance on sending personal data abroad. Data may leave under four lawful bases, with standard contracts and documentation, and controllers must notify her office of transfers. Data on elections and public finances must stay home. The rest may see the world, provided it tells the commissioner each time it leaves the house.

Cartoon: In a hushed committee room, three thick blank bills sit on a table under a dust sheet, while on a wall map behind them hundreds of tiny glowing microchips each wear a little tracking beacon blinking across the continents.
Washington

Location Unverified

US Senator Bernie Moreno says Congress is “too divided” to pass three chip export bills, including the Chip Security Act, requiring location verification for export-controlled advanced chips. A House committee approved all three by large margins; the full House has not voted. Congress wants every exported chip to report its location; its own bills have not yet left the building.

Tuesday, October 20, 2026

Cartoon: A long queue of grey-haired adults, one leaning on a cane, waits patiently at a government kiosk to stand against a child's height chart and be waved through for being taller than the line.
Athens

Still Not Fourteen

Greek parliamentary committees on Monday approved a bill barring under-15s from Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and LinkedIn. Every adult user must link their account to a government age token through the KidsWallet app, proving only that they are over 15, and verify again every six months. Twice a year, the adult population of Greece will prove it has not turned fourteen.

Cartoon: A regulator at a long desk drops blank complaint letters one after another into a row of rejection bins, while the single small tray for accepted complaints beside his elbow sits empty under a layer of dust.
Islamabad

The Ideal Complaint

The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority, replying to a court petition about harmful social media content, has set out when it may reject complaints about unlawful material online. The grounds include anonymous complaints, complaints from people not directly affected, matters already under investigation and cases requiring a detailed examination of documents and oral evidence. The ideal complaint has therefore never been investigated and never needs to be.

Cartoon: In a gleaming chip factory, a small wheeled robot cart loaded with shining discs waits at a painted line on the floor while an official in a suit studies a blank permission slip through a magnifying glass.
Washington

A Permission Slip for the Trolley

Intel has asked the US Federal Communications Commission for a waiver from its ban on foreign-made robots, which may cover the robot carts that move wafers around its chip plants. The carts need constant software updates, and Intel says finding a local supplier would take years. America can now make its chips at home; it needs a permission slip to carry them across the room.

Monday, October 19, 2026

Cartoon: Two officials and a tech executive sit at a long conference table piled with blank papers, all three serenely sipping coffee, while a wall calendar behind them has every page torn off and lying in a heap on the floor.
Brussels

No Date Set

The European Commission fined Google €890 million in July under the Digital Markets Act: €460 million for favouring its own search results and €430 million for stopping app developers from steering customers elsewhere. On 14 October a Commission spokesman said talks on Google’s changes were continuing. The Commission has set no date for its final assessment, a deadline Google has so far met.

Cartoon: An official proudly climbs to the top step of a short staircase marked only by blank placards, standing beside an open server cabinet whose door hangs off its hinges.
Canberra

Phase Three, Security Optional

The Australian Signals Directorate is replacing its Essential Eight cyber security framework, which rated organisations from Maturity Level Zero to Three, with ASD Essentials, which gives no single score. Reaching one of its implementation phases, the agency says, “describes implementation scope, not how secure the organisation is.” Agencies can now complete every phase without the risk of being called secure.

Cartoon: An official slides a single sealed envelope under one closed office door, while beside him a huge empty noticeboard stands with nothing pinned to it.
New Delhi

Diversity, Readership One

India’s IT ministry has asked Meta to ensure its recommendation systems do not expose users to “a single or limited set of narratives,” and to “endeavour to provide appropriate diversity of relevant and credible information.” The advisory, dated 10 October, was sent only to Meta and has not been published. A call for wider exposure has so far reached an audience of one.

Sunday, October 18, 2026

Cartoon: In a small, earnest classroom an official chalks a beginner's lesson on a blank blackboard, while through the window a towering, flawless, smiling billboard face of no real person looks down on the class with the calm of a graduate.
Kathmandu

The Academy Comes Later

Nepal’s Advertisement Board handed its annual report to the communications minister on Wednesday, promising to regulate digital and social media platforms and to watch online channels for illegal betting, crypto promotion and AI-generated deepfakes. It lists “foreign digital advertising regulation as a major ongoing challenge.” Among its plans is an advertisement academy, which will at least give the deepfakes somewhere to study.

Cartoon: A lone startup founder sits at a tiny desk in a small office, peering at a laptop, while through the window behind him a mountain of identical blank job applications rises higher than the building.
Lucknow

Five Thousand per Founder

India’s Uttar Pradesh has cleared an Artificial Intelligence Mission, UP-AIM, which aims to support at least 100 AI startups and train 500,000 AI-skilled youth, CSIS reports in its weekly digest of Indian state policy. That is 5,000 trained people for every startup. Each founder will need an AI just to read the applications.

Saturday, October 17, 2026

Cartoon: At an airport immigration desk, a stern officer stamps a tiny passport held up by a smartphone with little legs, which waits in the queue beside its owner, a generic traveller who has already been waved through.
Islamabad

A Visa for the Phone

Pakistan’s telecom regulator, the PTA, has proposed that travel SIM and eSIM providers register with it before operating in the country. Registered firms would report on SIMs activated, identity checks and usage, possibly through a near-real-time portal. The concern, ProPakistani reports, is that “foreign travel eSIMs can be activated in Pakistan without local identity verification.” Visitors already need a visa. Their phones are next.

Cartoon: In a covered market of ten identical stalls, the same smiling landlord in a business suit stands behind nine of the counters at once, while a single small independent grocer mans the tenth, and a food inspector with a clipboard looks from one to the other.
New Delhi

Mostly the Landlord’s Stalls

India’s food regulator, FSSAI, plans to make platforms such as Blinkit and Swiggy Instamart answer for manufacturers’ misleading claims and show manufacturing and expiry dates on every listing. The platforms argue they only host third-party sellers. Blinkit, MediaNama has reported, is the legal seller of record for nearly 90% of its orders. A marketplace, then, in which nine stalls in ten belong to the landlord.

Friday, October 16, 2026

Cartoon: A young programmer in a cafe connects fifty-two little paper cups with strings into one tidy tin-can telephone, while government officials in suits peek in through the window, fascinated.
Karachi

Fifty-Two Websites, One Afternoon

A Karachi developer has built “Ask Pakistan,” a chatbot that answers questions from 52 government websites in English, Urdu or Roman Urdu, and says the basic app took “a couple of hours.” “There is no unified platform which can give you information about all of them,” he told Dawn. The IT ministry took an interest and invited a presentation in Islamabad. The state’s single window has been fitted from outside.

Cartoon: An Indian minister peers through a very long brass telescope pointed twenty years into the future, while assistants constantly turn and re-aim the telescope's tripod in different directions.
New Delhi

Twenty Years, Recalibrated

India’s technology minister, Ashwini Vaishnaw, told a Bloomberg forum in New Delhi that the country has a 20 to 25 year roadmap to cut its dependence on critical technology: “we in India are thinking at least 20 years ahead.” He also said: “Things change, politics change, geopolitics play a big role, so we have to constantly calibrate our approach.” A plan for 2050, revisable by Thursday.

Cartoon: An airliner cruises over the Capitol dome while, far below, a small group of congressmen run along the ground waving clipboards and a magnifying glass up at it.
Washington

Audit After Takeoff

In Washington, almost two dozen House Democrats asked the Government Accountability Office on 13 October to audit the FAA’s AI-enabled air traffic tools, bought in June under a 12-year, $875 million contract. One of them, SMART, has been working over the capital’s airspace since 21 September. The transportation secretary calls it “a tool that’s used to better manage traffic.” The audit was requested after takeoff, which in aviation is usually called a prayer.

Thursday, October 15, 2026

Cartoon: At a Pakistani passport office, an old green passport packs its bags and waves goodbye at a retirement party, while a new chip-enabled passport sits at the desk being greeted by machines.
Islamabad

Machine-Readable, Retired

Pakistan stopped accepting applications for machine-readable passports on 14 October. From the 15th, at home and at missions abroad, only e-passports with a chip can be applied for; existing passports stay valid until they expire. The machine-readable passport retires because the machines now want something better to read.

Cartoon: In upstate New York, a Japanese banker hands over a huge sack of money for a chip factory, while an American official cheerfully pins a small share certificate to his own lapel.
Malta, New York

Paid in Tokyo, Owned in Washington

Japan will fund $21 billion for two new GlobalFoundries chip plants in Malta, New York, as part of its $550 billion investment pledge to the United States, President Trump announced on 14 October. The plants would make 1.8 million wafers a year, and the US government gets a 4 percent stake. Japan pays for the factory and America keeps the shares, an arrangement known elsewhere as a landlord.

Cartoon: An Indian phone rings displaying a caller's name in lights, and after the call the name floats away like a balloon while the phone owner scratches his head trying to remember it.
New Delhi

Named, Then Forgotten

India’s Department of Telecommunications has told Airtel, Jio, Vodafone Idea and BSNL to display callers’ names from 1 November, on by default for 4G and above, using the name in each operator’s subscriber records. Businesses may show a preferred name only if it is a registered trademark or GST trade name. The name must not be stored after the call. India will know who is calling, and forget it on hanging up.

Wednesday, October 14, 2026